Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
