are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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