dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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