Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
