If that was your dad, he is hot
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We're too hungover to prance.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize