I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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