maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She announced her abortion via fbk
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
