I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
