my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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