I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
