Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
