I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
she looked like the before picture.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Four minutes until I can fart!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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