I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
