those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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