If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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