so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
