I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
