She's JV to your varsity
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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