and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
