Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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