i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
