Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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