If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
