He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
