i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
