What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
