I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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