who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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