Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize