everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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