did you get engaged???
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
