Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
it hurts more in the daytime
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
