just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize