Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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