very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
