I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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