who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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