I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
