Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
