You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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