Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize