I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
