RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
