you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
