You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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