Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
