Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
