im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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