he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
