idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
