I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize