I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
