Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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