Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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