New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
