scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I checked into jail on foursquare
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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