I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
